Questions to explore

This may feel like an unusual question, but we encourage prospective adoptive parents to consider their motivations for adoption. While adoption is an incredible experience, it is not easy.

When challenges arrive understanding your why is vital.

This shift in perspective is essential, especially in adoption from foster care, where the primary focus is on meeting the needs of the child.

Children in foster care have experienced loss and trauma, and adoption should be approached with the understanding that their well-being, stability, and sense of belonging come first.

It’s important to reflect on whether your family is prepared to provide unconditional love, patience, and support to a child who may need time to adjust and heal. Adoption is a lifelong commitment to a child’s needs, not just an expansion of your family.

It's not uncommon for one spouse to be more hesitant about adoption than the other.

This is true for all types of adoption but can be especially common in adoption from foster care. Before starting the application process, have an honest conversation about your decision.

As you attend required trainings and engage in activities that explore what to expect, continue these discussions. Welcoming a child into your home can bring both joy and challenges, and it’s essential to strengthen your communication early to support your marriage and your future child.

Have you talked to the children in your home about the possibility of adopting from foster care?

You may be excited about this, but your kids might feel differently. It’s important to recognize their feelings and acknowledge that they may experience a range of emotions when a new child joins the family.

Along with excitement and joy, there can also be feelings of jealousy, resentment, and uncertainty—responses that are completely natural.

Ongoing conversations can help your children process these changes and navigate their emotions. Are you prepared to support them through this transition and ensure they feel heard and understood?

One of the most profound losses anyone can experience is the loss of their parents.

All children, including those placed at birth, face attachment disruptions—severing ties with their parents and families of origin. A child or teen will process this trauma throughout each developmental stage.

Trauma, neglect, and multiple attachment disruptions can deeply affect a child's social, emotional, cognitive, and identity development. Parenting a child who has experienced these challenges due to foster care and adoption requires additional skills, knowledge, and interventions.

If you are focused on maintaining the birth order of children already in your home, it may be difficult to uphold that when considering adoption from foster care.

In Washington, many of the children most in need of permanent homes are over the age of 8. These children often face challenges related to trauma, loss, and adjustment, and their needs should be prioritized over traditional birth order.

What’s most important is to have open conversations with the children currently in your home about how they might feel about adding an older child or teen to the family. Their feelings and perspectives are crucial as you navigate this decision, ensuring the entire family is prepared for the transition.

Have you considered how you might feel about your child maintaining contact with their biological family when it’s safe and appropriate?

Are you able to set aside your own emotions and prioritize what’s best for the child?

Many children in foster care have strong connections to their birth family, and keeping these ties, when safe, can provide the child with stability and reassurance. It allows them to preserve their history and culture, which is essential for their development. Open communication can help the child feel secure, knowing their birth family remains a part of their life, even after adoption.

Keep in mind that the amount and form of contact will vary, always based on what is in the child’s best interest.

Most kids who are looking for an adoptive home in Washington are above the age of 12.

Adopting a teen can have a life-changing impact. Teens in foster care long for stability, love, and a sense of belonging, and by adopting them, you’re offering them a chance at the future they deserve.

Teens may come with challenges, but they also bring so much depth—they can share their dreams, fears, and aspirations in a way that creates a real, lasting connection.

While some children enter foster care as infants and may eventually be adopted by their foster parents, approximately 36 percent of children in foster care are age 11 or older.

Infants who enter the system are often placed with foster families temporarily, as the primary goal is reunification with their biological parents whenever possible. If reunification isn't feasible, infants and toddlers are usually placed with relatives before other options are considered.

While adopting an infant from foster care is possible, it is extremely rare. Placement priority typically follows this order: reunification with parents first, placement with relatives second, and adoption by an existing foster parent as the last option.