Overcome barriers

How to overcome barriers to engagement with youth

Everyone deserves a say in their future, regardless of their circumstances. Youth should always have opportunities for engagement, even when it requires extra effort or they have turned opportunities down in the past.

Unpacking a youth’s “no”

Youth might regularly decline to engage in the family-finding process. Or they might say “no” altogether to a certain type of permanency (e.g., adoption). Understanding the why behind it is important before asking them to engage. It might take time, but your commitment to that conversation can help youth open up. Their “no” can stem from so many places. For example:

Frustration

They are frustrated that they can't move to their desired placement at this time.

• Remind them of why that option can’t currently be considered or why it’s taking so long.
• Identify some concrete steps they can expect or look forward to.

Having a hard time

They are having a hard time at school or at home, particularly if they live in a group setting.

• Check in with them and their caregivers or educators.
• Reiterate to the youth that these efforts are to get them into a better living situation.
• Ask them whether there are things you can help solve or whether they just need you to listen.

Focused on independence

They are focused on gaining their independence and/or aging out of the system.

• Talk about the pros and cons of aging out and help them think through what it would mean in the future.
• Pitch the idea of staying open to multiple paths at once, promising that they still have the decision-making power.

Fear of rejection

They don’t trust that a future family will stick with them and not reject them.

• Validate what they’re feeling.
• Try pivoting the conversation to assurances the two of you could build into vetting possible homes—to ensure youth would feel more secure with a potential family’s commitment.
• Point to older youth you know who did find committed homes.

Engagement seems confusing or unappealing

The types of engagement opportunities pitched to them are confusing or don’t sound appealing.

• Explore what they engaged in previously and what those experiences were like.
• Ask what idea would interest them and tailor an opportunity to their liking.

Don't want to move again

They simply don’t want to move again and would rather maintain the things they currently have around them, like school or friends.

• Validate the attachments they've made to their current community.
• Explore the most important ones and whether those could be available elsewhere.
• If their attachment is location-specific, continue to ask what broader area would be acceptable to them.

Fear of betrayal

They feel like they would betray biological family or lose contact.

• Talk about what the word “family" can mean and commend them for their attachment to their biological family.
• Bring in a mental health professional to process these feelings with them.
• Point to examples of other youth who maintained strong connections with biological families and accepted the support of a new home as an older youth.

Brittney shares how to get to the root of a youth's resistance to engagement.

Stay connected even when not much is happening

A prolonged search for a future home can often feel endless for youth, especially when they feel stuck in their current placement. As their caseworker, it can be difficult to keep kids engaged or return to the conversation about permanency at all, when there aren’t many positive updates to share. These are the times when it is extra important to keep kids plugged in. Be mindful of how the frequency of "non-update" conversations may grate on kids but always make the effort to maintain hope. Things you can do to re-engage them during these times are:

• Detail your active steps since your last interaction with them.
• Brainstorm a way they can contribute to (or update) their online profile.
• Plan a monthly meeting around their schedule.
• Remind them that finding the right home can be time-consuming but is possible (and it doesn‘t mean families are rejecting them left and right).

Remember, when youth aren’t engaged or updated, they think no one is making an effort on their behalf to find them permanency. This feeling is particularly strong when they are physically placed far away from their caseworker or previous home. Youth need regular reminding that you are on their side, people are working hard on their behalf, and there is a role for them to play.

Re-engaging after disappointment

There are few things more disheartening than when a youth has been engaged in family-finding efforts, a home is identified, maybe they even move in, and then that plan falls apart and it’s back to the search again. How you approach a youth about re-engaging is important:

Take time

The re-traumatizing nature of these events is significant and requires a pause, processing, mental health support, and re-engagement at a pace that feels comfortable to the specific youth. Let them know that you won’t rush them, but are still focused on the goal of finding a permanent home together, as soon as you can.

Absolve youth of blame

Process what happened with them and shift the narrative, so they understand that a placement dissolving reflects a failure of the adults involved. For instance, “that family wasn’t prepared,” or, as their worker you “didn’t do enough to ensure that would stick.” Every situation is different, but doing everything possible to lighten a youth’s burden is important.

Remind them you’re their champion

Restarting the search process is another opportunity to remind them that you have their best interests at heart, they deserve permanency, and you’re committed to finding them a future home that will be permanent.

Rethink engagement opportunities

Because a youth may have previously created a profile or attended an event, be mindful of retreading over the same opportunities. Talk with them about how to make it feel different, how they may have changed since then, and what might feel comfortable going forward.

Pursue engagement even at a more intensive placement

It is important to keep youth engaged in their permanency search while they are living in placements like residential facilities and group homes. So often youth feel forgotten when they have to move to these places. Consistent engagement can help them stay connected to what is actively happening to change their situation. Sometimes building a pause into engagement is important, to allow youth to transition, build relationships with new adults in their life, and give space for important mental health work that needs to happen. But a certain type of placement isn’t inherently a reason to hit the brakes. Even if a youth won’t be able to move in the immediate future, engagement in these settings can help identify a future home faster, show the youth that progress continues to move forward and prepare them for a transition to a future placement.