Partner on family finding

Building family-finding partnerships

Youth may not know the full range of permanency options that exist for them. They need adults who affirm and help them figure out what they want in a home—and remind them that they are deserving of that permanency.

Validate what they want

Asking youth about their ideal home is a good place to start. It communicates that what they want is the roadmap to find permanency. Validating doesn’t mean supporting a plan that’s unrealistic. For example, a youth may want to be placed with someone they know who isn’t an appropriate resource. Affirming a youth’s connection to those people is crucial, even if placement is unlikely at that time. Pivot to a discussion of how to stay closely connected to those individuals, and how a different home could help support that connection. In some cases, a youth may want to live in a very specific location, maybe staying connected to their school or neighborhood. Validate those feelings of belonging and probe deeper into the underlying reasons for those attachments. Be realistic about what it takes to achieve that vision. Praise them for desiring those things and advocating for themselves. And let every youth know that you will work hard to get as close as possible to their vision.

Help youth understand their options

By the time you are working with a youth, they could have already explored a number of changing permanency options. With each change of permanency plan that a youth experiences often comes additional trauma and uncertainty. As a caseworker, you know that remaining open to various forms of permanency can help shorten a youth’s time in foster care, but that sometimes getting a youth on board is easier said than done. Here are six steps to support a youth in staying open to exploring permanency options:

• Learn about their past experiences with permanency planning.
• Listen to their current thoughts on permanency.
• Help them identify potential challenges.
• Encourage them to stay open to concurrent planning—exploring multiple possibilities for their future at once.
• Let them know they have the power to change their mind.

Stay encouraging! Try these tips:

Is the youth focused on placement with a relative or known adult?
Explain how keeping a broader search open—for either a long-term foster family or an adoptive family—can be a "just in case” backup plan.

Does a youth want to enter extended foster care but it’s still multiple years away?
Help them learn more about that path while "keeping their options open” for the possibility that a great permanent home does emerge.

Questions to ask

Some youth have a very clear picture of what they’re looking for in their future, and others have difficulty articulating it. The adults around them should be there to help them express it. A youth’s experience of family so far in their life may impact how well they can visualize a future home. Asking questions can help and show youth that their desires are important. Here are some possible prompts to keep on hand:

• What’s most important to you in finding a home? (Location? Family composition? Certain qualities?)
• Is there anyone who understands you better than others lately? How do they show you that?
• What dreams or goals do you have, and how could a family help you get to those?
• What are deal breakers for you in a potential family?
• What connections are essential for you to keep, and how would you want to maintain those?
• What do you need to feel safe?
• What rhythms or routines of spending time together do you imagine?
• What things help you begin to trust adults over time?
• What’s something you do not want in a family?

If a youth feels stuck in a theoretical discussion, use a real family home study to help identify tangible yeses and nos to different qualities or characteristics. Youth-Led Permanency Consultations are a great way to support these conversations and learn more about what they’re looking for in a family. Contact us to learn more about engaging youth through a Youth-Led Permanency Consultation.

If they have a desire to advocate for themselves further—beyond just the two of you—pitch an In-Depth Profile to give them a bigger platform to share directly with potential homes. The "for youth" section of our website has many helpful tools for approaching youth about using their voice in family recruitment, including videos created for youth, by youth, explaining what the experience is like. Contact us if you would like a youth on your caseload to have an In-Depth Profile.

Put the matching responsibility on the adults

Let youth know that you are firmly in their corner throughout the permanency-finding process. Finding the right home is the adult’s job, not theirs. Their voice and contributions are crucial, but it’s not up to them to get themselves out of foster care. Talk about what goes into you vetting families and ruling them in or out upfront. If a particular family doesn’t work out, make sure they know that families don’t just say “no" to them. Not everyone meets the specific type of home the two of you have laid out together. Youth need more adults in their life who remind them that permanency is their right and they are surrounded by people who are committed to finding it.