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Start the permanency conversation

How to start the permanency conversation

Starting off on the right foot matters. Let the youth know they have a say in their own permanency. Give them a chance to think about what they want and let them know what to expect from the process and from you.

Get to know the youth

Give a youth the chance to introduce themself to you, even if you have already seen their case file. Youth want to be known for who they are right now, not just their past. Spend time getting to know them before the conversation turns to permanency topics. Be genuinely interested in the things they’re into or ask them to teach you something. The time you spend here will build a foundation of trust and understanding.

Where are conversations happening?

Where you are talking can have a huge impact on how a conversation goes. Not every youth wants to just sit and talk, especially with a caseworker who might be new to them. The right setting can help youth open up—for example:

Riding in the car.
Talking on the phone.
Playing a game.
Taking a walk.
Sharing a meal or special treat.

Nevaeh, a foster care alum, says who I am portrayed on paper is not reflective of who I am as a person. Adults miss a lot of the small things and the important things that make us who we are.

Explain your role as their caseworker

Be clear with youth that your job is to:

Make sure they are safe.
Find them a home that they want to go to, where they don’t have to move from.

As their worker, describe what you will do to find a future home. Share that you are actively doing things to look for a home for them, rather than passively waiting for the right one to come along. Knowing what you do helps kids believe that you are a strong advocate for them in finding permanency. Let them know things like:

“I will keep looking for relatives of yours.”
“I will explore an adult you’ve known or lived with.”
“I will proactively reach out to licensed homes that could be a fit.”
“I will talk to and assess any family that comes forward.”
“I will help you explore multiple permanency options that you’re open to.”

Ask questions

There is no better way to show youth that their perspective and input matter than by consistently giving them space to share. Want to know what is best for a youth or what they need from you? Ask them. Opening a dialogue helps youth be more vocal about what they want now and in their future.

“How can I be a good caseworker and partner for you?”
“What's important to you?”
“What do you already know about how we search for a home?”

Let youth know their involvement is essential—and a choice

Youth need to hear how important their voice is in the search for family that will be a good fit and will stick with them no matter what. But they should also know that their participation is up to them. When youth say “yes” to taking on an active role in permanency planning, celebrate their choice and acknowledge their courage!

Brittney shares about the importance of youth having a voice in their own permanency plan.

Lead with positive expectations

Youth need to know that finding a permanent home isn’t just possible, it’s what they should expect. Give them examples of other youth their age who have found a home they wanted to be in and what made that happen. Just as importantly, remind them that it’s a process that takes time. Exploring options and the potential fit of a home requires care and patience. Let them know what you’ll be doing until you see them, or talk to them, next.